Confused

Assalamu'alaykum...Tadaima...Minna-san ogenki desu ka???Hisashiburi ne...

What is this feeling??
Like I don't know about myself anymore.
I'm really confused.
And I don't know what should I do.

What's the point of being here?
What is "belief" anyway??

I can't stand it anymore.
I can't face it anymore.
I can't hold it anymore.

What's the point?
What's for?

An ultimate anger...

Assalamu'alaykum...Tadaima...Minna-san ogenki desu ka???Hisashiburi ne...

Konnichiwa...
The truth is I really want to leave this place.
This is full of bullshit!!!

And I don't even know what the hell am I doing right here???
I don't get it at all...
I just want to be that!!!
My dreams...

Then I realize, I'm just a little bit too afraid to say "I DON'T WANT IT AT ALL"!!!!

People search for a place to fit in. I do too. But I can't find a place to fit in, neither a place that fit me in...

I don't know what I'm supposed to do!
I'm being crazy...
I can't stand anymore. I can't face it anymore.
ENOUGH!!!
This is ridiculous!

This place is full of lying.
This place is full of hypocrisy.
This place is full of inconsistency.

How can I live in it???

I just wanna go home for a bit.
Just take some rest and then I'll give my best for my dreams...
Get the hell out of here...

Wassalammu'alaykum...

Anxiety

Assalamu'alaykum...Tadaima...Minna-san ogenki desu ka???Hisashiburi ne...

GOD!!!
What I've done these two whole years???
What I've been thinking up??

How could I do something like that???
How can I fix it???

How about my future??
Truthfully, I don't really think of them seriously.
I just think about something that hard to do.
Even I know that my effort and my work is not enough to make it into reality.
How can I fix it?

How can I be so rude???
This is all about my future.
My own future.

What should I do now?
I don't really wanna lose those things.
I don't really wanna lose my dreams.

I'm scared.
So scared.

Wassalammu'alaykum...

Some efforts

Assalamu'alaykum...Tadaima...Minna-san ogenki desu ka???Hisashiburi ne...

Now, I wanna skip class. Why?
There's no point of being there if I can't concentrate.
That's why I don't wanna waste my time for useless things.
This time, I really want to appreciate my precious time.
I don't wanna waste my time for nothing.
I hate to use my time for something that doesn't give a feedback for me.
This is the first rule if you wanna become discipline and wanna be success.

Then, I wanna make some money.
Wait, don't interpret it as you wish. I mean don't bend it.
*actually I don't know what I say. *LOL
I want to attend some competition, like papers competition or something that I can win it.
So, I can get the prize which is mostly money.
Just make some effort to overcome that.

I don't want to be a burden for my family.
At least I have to do something useful for them.
And I want to enlighten their financial burden.
So, this is the things I can do for them.
Dakara, ganbarimasu!!!

I know well that I'm lack of experience.
But, if I don't try it now, then when???

Wassalammu'alaykum...

Review of Books

Assalamu'alaykum...Tadaima...Minna-san ogenki desu ka???Hisashiburi ne...

Ohayou...
It's soooooo early in the morning...

This time, I'll give some advice about some interesting books I had read.

1. Doctors by Eric Seagal

This book tells us about being a doctor. A living story of some doctors, since they were kids, then until they attended medical school. Then, it tells about living as student of HMS. Overall, this book tells about living as a doctor. It's a very good book. You must read that! It's so easy to understanding, and you won't be bored when you read it.
Most recommended!!!

2. Negara Kelima

This book tells us about the fifth country of Indonesia. So far, it tells us about a new country, the new Indonesia, based on history of Indonesia, it has a connection with our great story about Sriwijaya, Majapahit, Atlantis, etc. Conspiracy, crime, etc. It has a great and dramatic plot.

3. Dan Brown's novel : Angels and Demon, The Digital Fortress, The Da Vinci Code, The Lost Symbol

You all know what I mean and why I recommend these books... (^^)

Wassalammu'alaykum...

Syndroms...

Assalamu'alaykum...Tadaima...Minna-san ogenki desu ka???Hisashiburi ne...

Konbanwa....
It's midnight already.
But, you know, I haven't felt asleep.
Yeah, that's a pure college student...

I lost my desire recently. I don't really wanna do something.
My motivation had gone away...
I'm like a zombie, live outside, but my soul has gone away...

But, tonight I've just gained my motivation.
My energy has just been back.
And, now I'm ready for everything.
OUSH!!!

College student's syndroms and rules are:
- Don't wanna get up early in the morning
- After had exams, we don't wanna attend the class quickly
- Always late for the first class in the morning
- We are bats
- Tasks are our main dish
- Exams are our relaxation
- Meetings are our second dish
- Deadliner is a common degree for us

Well, those are realities in this world.
Don't be panic!
We can or must be exactly OVERCOME all of the matters.
For the sake of your goals....
Ganbarimasu!!!

Wassalammu'alaykum...

Assalamu'alaykum...Tadaima...Minna-san ogenki desu ka???Hisashiburi ne...

Konbanwa...
I haven't been blogging recently. Because I have my exams this week. Tomorrow is the last day of my exams. There are civil engineering material and statistics&probability.
Ganbarimasu!!!

By the way, in the end I realize something very important.
It has changed my point of view. It has changed my way.
Now, I become focus on my goals.

The truth is I felt so uneasy about being here.
Then I tried to take them away from me. I mean about being uneasy.
At first, I felt and thought I can enjoyed it.
But then I felt like just wasting time and doing useless things.
I can't do a proper work here. I don't give my best at everything.
My heart always feel uneasy. And my soul always screaming.
My heart screaming, I want to do something that basically my heart want it too.

Yappari, I can't give up on my dreams.
And now, my spirit, my ambition, those have been bigger.

Now, I'm heading there.
To the place that I should be there.
To the place where I'm destined to.
To the place where I'm supposed to be there.
To the thing that bring me courage.
To the thing that makes me strong.
To the thing that makes me stand.
To the thing that makes me brave.

I won't let even single thing lay on my way.
I'll crush them.

Yakusoku dakara...

My attention won't be distracted.

Now I walk on my way to reach my goals...

Ganbarimasu!!!

Wassalammu'alaykum...